First Impressions of Missionary Life by an Amateur

“The Lord is the Strength of my Life.” – Psalm 27:1

The Journey Begins

Declan on our first flight together as a family, leaving the USA

My experience started as it was time to go through bag check in the GS Airport and I had to say goodbye to my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and nephews and niece.  Even though this first goodbye was only for a few months, I knew that it was the end of a season of my life, and that I would come back a different person, changed from my experiences in Costa Rica.  I knew that I would miss out on daily phone calls with my mom, visits to my parent’s house and time with my sister’s family- watching them grow and missing out on the cute things they say, their faces as they experience new things, etc.   I knew that I was saying goodbye to my “freedoms” in the US, being able to drive where ever I wanted, stocking up at the Library, my running of my favorite trails at the state park, access to any store I wanted, the English language and US customs and values.

The Arrival as a Spoiled “North”American

Arriving in Costa Rica was a shock lessened by the fact that I’ve already been to Ecuador.  The differences in culture and surroundings I already knew about from my time in Quito and Cuenca.  Waking up the first morning in my new house was hard.  As a mom, my first thought was:  “What am I going to feed my family?”  I can’t just jump in my car and go a few minutes down the road to Ingles.  For the first time in my life, I don’t have a car and must walk to the store.  I remember walking around the first day in shock of how truly spoiled I am and the things I’ve just come to expect and the false feeling of entitlement because I am used to certain things. I truly am “a spoiled American”.  I was ashamed of myself and humbled by God in those first few days.  The first of many, I’m sure.

Learning to pay our bills

“Sensory Overload”

The first store we went to was overwhelming for me.  The differences in what they sell, trying to convert dollars to Colones, the cleanliness of that store in particular and trying to communicate with the store clerks and being embarrassed and frustrated that I can’t converse with them was hard.  Even trying to read the packages in Spanish while my kids are all talking to me at once was crazy.  I was already experiencing a lot of sensory overload in the first few days.

The Mountains are Taunting Me

After figuring out where to buy what foods, the “feeling” of being isolated and imprisoned settled in.   Not knowing the area, wondering what lay over the horizon, “feeling” like it’s hard to just get out and walk around because you are a target for thieves just because your skin is lighter.  Not having a car and being able to drive around is hard for me.  Seeing the mountains all just out of reach here makes it even harder.  It is like they are taunting me in the distance.  I have learned, already, that I have to take baby steps for now.  I am learning to slow down and to tackle just one thing at a time- maybe plan to walk to the corner market for a pound of coffee, or go check out the craft supply store on the corner, etc, knowing this one visit could take all day.  And just slowly building off of that and expanding our horizons here gradually.

We are becoming more “One Flesh” and learning to live in each other’s days

After our first day here, Aidan and Declan got sick with some sort of stomach bug.  It only lasted a day or so, but it reminded me of what TMM taught us to expect.  “After arriving onto the mission field, you WILL get sick…”  After they got over that virus, I got sick with something different and I was down for ten days of cold chills, fever, stomach pains, extreme fatigue and a migraine that lasted for those last two days… I have new-found sympathy for people that suffer with migraines, because they are horrible!  During this time all the daily responsibilities of taking care of the family fell on Michael and I think it was pretty hard for him. He was so used to being out and away from the house working at his “9-5” and being home all the time surely weighed on him.  I’m not sure what all he went through because I was in bed and out of it the whole time.  Only a few days into it, some of the other missionary ladies here stepped in and really helped out.  They brought me medicine and prayed for me and even made meals for our family.  It was such a blessing and huge help for us and I thank God for them!

The Mountains are Taunting Me…

Thanking God for the staff at The Master’s Mission (TMM)

After my week and a half sickness, I jumped back into my responsibilities as wife and mom and acquiring resources to make food for my family each day.  I am figuring out where to buy what and learning that most things must be made from scratch and will take all day to make.  This was yet another experience I have already acquired through our time and training at TMM. (Thank you SO much TMM for taking the brunt off of the shock of missionary life!  I am forever grateful!)

“I thought paying bills was frustrating in the States”

Then came the issue of bill paying here.  A fellow missionary serving here was kind enough to take us to the bank and show us how to convert dollars to colones so that we could pay our water bill at the store using those colones.  I am still  trying to figure out if you have to use colones to pay bills or if you can use a card or US dollars as well.  There is SO much that I just don’t know.  And that is hard for me because I want to be in control, know what is going on and have all my ducks in a row.  That is simply how things work here.  Each day brings unexpected things at unexpected times in unexpected chaos.  If a meeting is at three o’clock here, it may not actually happen until five!  It has been a learning experience for me to just take it in stride and not get frustrated by it.

Learning to be 5 again

There is a great sense of initial helplessness here.  Depending on other Gringos to show you the ropes and feeling like you are a burden to them is, at times, overwhelming.  I feel like I am five years old and have to have someone show me how to tie my shoes.  It is humbling and embarrassing for me, which is character building, right?  I have also already experienced the shame of other Gringos making fun of us trying to speak Spanish with our accompanying southern accent in tow.  It did hurt my feelings (I am sensitive) and I have made a mental note to NOT make fun of others as they are new and trying to learn.  We should love each other and be patient and understanding, just as Jesus is.

Priceless Moments

Loneliness and Precious Moments

Having chosen to stay at home with Declan and have a tutor several times a week instead of going to regular classes like Michael, I feel that I am missing out of relationships with the fellow students and that I am somewhat out of the loop.  I do feel lonely already and long for fellowship with like-minded ladies.  I am praying that God will work that out in His own timing.  I am also trying to adjust to being away from my older two boys during the day as they are in school for the first time ever.  When they get home, I long to soak up the precious moments with them in the evening, and try not to dwell on the missed conversations, expressions, and their experiences at school that I was not a part of for the first time in their lives.  It is a sacrifice I make because I am missing out on these things, but I know that they are LOVING school at Sojourn Academy and I am happy for them.

God is our Strength

These are most of my first impressions of missionary life as a newbie.  I have a new-found respect for missionaries around the world that are making such big sacrifices for His name sake.  It is difficult, but I know that God works all things in His sovereign plan for our good and His glory and that I am being sanctified daily and conformed into His image.  I don’t know what is in store for the next part of our journey here, but my greatest comfort is knowing that we serve a good God and that He cares immensely for each one of us.  He is our strength and refuge at all times, and we can trust Him to do what is right and best and simply rest in Him.